Are you in a relationship that is tending towards marriage and all of a sudden your partner started demanding for sex before marriage and this issue seems to be wrecking your relationship instead of building and giving it hope?
Were you abandoned in a relationship that you have built over the months simply because you refused to give in to sex before marriage?
Is the question, “Is sex before marriage okay?, difficult to crack?
Then, I want to teach you what I call, “Emotional Leverage”
Emotional Leverage may not sound familiar to you. It just came to me, through the Holy Spirit, as I was writing this article.
“Emotional leverage” simply means having an added value in your emotional life (sex life inclusive).
Emotional leverage has to do with the feelings you have for your suitor. This is especially important while choosing a life partner.
Most people make the mistake of choosing a partner they do not “feel” for. This is common among some people today. In the course of writing this book, about three persons shared similar stories of their friends (ladies) who got married but ended up consistently being impregnated by their former “boy- friends”. Why? They claimed that their husbands were very ugly. That they could not imagine themselves giving birth to children that resembled their husbands. What a shame!
Hear this: Any suitor you do not have feelings for, never marry such a person, otherwise you end up committing adultery and dying casually. However, when you say “I do!” and enter into marriage with the person, “shut every other door”.
Erroneously, people say, “Love is blind”; that is why most people have closed their eyes and chose their partners. Only to open their eyes and discover that what they chose was not what they wanted. Little wonder why somebody said that marriage is a prison where those inside want to come out and those outside are afraid of getting in. This statement is a gross fallacy.
Marriage is not a prison. Do you doubt me? Now let us go to the origin of the Bible.
In the book of Proverbs 18:22, the Scripture said, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord “. Beloved, marriage is not “for better, for worse“as many so called ignorant Pastors declare.
Have you not read, from the book of Proverbs 4:18, “But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day “? Be wise!
However, if you discover any seemingly imperfection challenge or problem with your partner after wedding, then recognize that that was why God created both of you to be together. You are to complement him/her and not to be a critic. You are to partner with him/her and not to compete with him/her. You are to help him/her overcome challenges and not to discourage him/her.
Start seeing the good sides of your partner. Help him/her on his/her weaknesses. That is the power of synergy. What God was talking about in Proverbs 18:22, in relation to “favour” means “synergy” in true sense. Because until you work, nothing works, so, it is not just by faith alone, but added diligent (Hebrew 11:6).
Make your relationship work. But, lay good foundations. That is why I like what one wise man said, “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, but half-shut, after marriage”
Consider emotional leverage before accepting a suitor. Would I be happy having this person kiss me? Would I be happy having him/her “ride” me? Would I be happy having this person walk with me on the street? Would I be bold to smilingly say to my friends “This is my husband wife”? Would I be happy having this man father my children? Would I be happy having this woman carry my baby? And other related questions.
If you don’t feel for him/her, please do not accept his/her proposal for relationship (marriage).
However, never be deceived with this devilish advice admonishing you to have sex with your partner before wedding and consequent marriage. Marriage is honourable when the bed is undefiled. What you think you want to test before wedding will soon be your own immediately after wedding. Exercise a little patience and if God’s Word, Proverbs 4:18, is true, which it is, you will never be disappointed in that relationship. Believe me!
To Your Success,
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